What is the basis for change? Why change? Why bother?
One has to reach a stage of personal dissatisfaction before they begin the quest for change. The source of change is within us- not external- and most of us are operating way below our potential. We are accountable only to ourselves for what happens to us in our lives. We must realise that we have a choice, particularly with our perception of events. To take responsibility for our lives means making a profound change in the way we approach everything, and not blaming an outside source for our feelings. “She made me feel bad”. ”This feeling came over me”.
You have a right to your feelings and to acknowledge the painful ones- but keep them in perspective.
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”- Kahlil Gibran.
You can decide to dwell on particular feelings but make sure you do the things that make you feel good about yourself instead of those that make you feel negative. “Pollution” is the buzz word now but the harm that we do ourselves is far more dangerous than the damage we do to the environment. Stop emphasising the negative.
When you do something you feel proud of, dwell on it- pat yourself on the back. We are all too quick to put ourselves down. When did you last say,” I am so stupid”? Recognise it? Be aware of the inner struggle when putting yourself down- if you do something that makes you feel bad inside ask yourself whether that is the way you want to feel. If not, stop doing what makes you feel that way.
Enjoy the experience of being in charge of yourself. The Bible says,” Love thy neighbour as thy self” not “better than” or “instead of”.If we cannot learn to love ourselves from what source can we draw on to love others? True freedom comes when you accept the responsibilities for your choices, believe in infinite possibility. Meet new challenges- attempt something new. You can because you think you can! Life can be a self fulfilling prophecy. Be aware of your comfort zone, step outside and realise that fear is just fear of fear itself- not reality.
False Expectations Appearing Real
As a baby you were completely confident, when you started to walk you went for it! Then the conditioning began from parents, school, peers, religion, often negative, “Be careful” Mind you don’t fall” “Quiet”. This is programming in the real sense but it can be changed.A good loving childhood is a wonderful starting point but we needn’t get hooked on any negativity from it. We live in a climate of emotional abundance; whatever we achieve doesn’t take anything from anyone else- developing ourselves, enlarges our possibilities. We have limited time here on earth- be aware of the best use of it. Happiness lies within.
So, how do we change?
Firstly, take control. Realise that there is another way- be excited by the prospect.
Secondly, visualise creatively. Act as you wish to become. Have goals, voice them in present tense as if they are reality now. Give your thoughts of expectation life and colour. Make them vivid. Remember the first rule of the mind,”That which is expected tends to be realised”. Reorganise your expectations. If you expect nothing that’s what you’ll get! Realise that you can begin to control the way that you feel and, to a certain extent, the events which you attract.
Thirdly, persevere. Success comes from chasing your dreams, use failures and trauma as a spur onwards, seize every opportunity, be focused. 10% inspiration 90% perspiration!
Fourthly, listen to your inner voice-intuition. Speak up, state your opinions- it doesn’t mean being loud and aggressive. You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations; you are not now the child who needs to invoke love, sympathy and understanding, to win the adults over to get the bar of chocolate. But be gentle with the child within, encourage and have debate and come out with positive results.
Don’t compare yourselves with others; there will always be those richer or poorer. Let go lovingly of the negative parts of the child within. Don’t let the old familiar pattern, the comfort zone, retain its grip on you. There is often a secondary gain from the attention that comes from pain and discomfort, get rid of those self-defeating ways. Remember nobody is perfect so be a little flexible with yourself and don’t forget to love the uniqueness of your being. Also remember that the old patterns may try to fight back for a while for their continued existence.
The world is but a stage- be your own Director!